November delight

If we meet again. If. If.

tsh. 

Sucks. It fkin does.

ruff draft of a life widout electric cables

It was weird. For 10 years i had kept seeing this big old mango tree, and 2days ago. This tree was chopped to pieces because it fell lifeless on the road. Blocking traffic.

Tarlac was so hard hit there hasnt been wifi and electricity for a week. It was so
Highly saddening because people had to go primitive.

Now, we have to fight to regain the dignity and the valor of our town.

Tarlac is my new home, so i need to contribute to this town.

Lately, earthquakes, storms, destruction and corruption! Man, lets fight the fight!

Bangon Pilipinas! Hindi kailanman hahayaang matinag ang diwa!

Pigs for Eating

Thirteen years ago, a girl was hiding inside a room. It was very bright outside, in fact, nothing was ever to be scared of at that time. (At least, for the standards of her culture). She was hiding possibly from the a noise so distinct, a noise that she could hear every 2nd Sunday of October.  Every 2nd Sunday of October, they are usually having what they call a "Fiesta." This type of celebration is like an eating festival! You'd kill a lot of animals, you'd slice a lot of veggies, hear a lot of stories from the people who help cook for the Fiesta. 

But, this girl, at that moment, forgot all about those things. All she ever cared about were the screams she were hiding from. She was so shittingly scared, the screams she could hear were like screams from hell. It was total chaos in her mind. 

----

Last year, her grandma would ask her to buy some Pig Feed. You know what those are? Those are feeds for them pigs. She would happily buy a plastic bag of them and she would go behind the house to give the pig a cup of feed to eat. 

Then, strangely, she'd develop a liking for her newfound pet. She named this pig, "Naruto." Cause at that time, that Japanese Anime was so popular she must have wanted to fashion herself into a ninja. 

She always talked to Naruto, told the pig many things about her school, about many many strange things. 

-----

So, that 2nd Sunday of that October, 13 years ago. She heard the screams of Naruto. She knew from it's cries that it was being pulled so violently by the neck. Her old folks used a rope to tie the pig to the roasting pen. The hell of a sound, it was like 10,000 babies screaming for help. 

And all she could do was to cover her ears with her helpless, useless fuckin hands.

----

She loved that goddamn pig. 

She heard the last battlecry for life of the pig just before it was hit by a loud, unforgiving smash to it's head by a construction hammer.

Gotten my bike fixed

I decided to move to tarlac after a few days. So i decided that having my bike fixed, id tour angeles for some last rounds before id move.

Yesterday, my bike was fixed and it was refixed again today, cause the bike chain seemed to be a little loose.

one person told me that angeles is not a good town for me.

i guess its true. i believe him, it is true, somehow.

but yesterday, people rushed in to help me with my bike chain. they got their hands greasy just because they wanted to help me. it changed my mind that angeles is still a good town, i suppose.

i saw some incredibly strange things, good people, even some shops hidden around angeles! its a fuckin treasure, this city is. i grew up here for like 17 years, but my mind has never opened like this.

angeles can be good at times, it can also be detrimental.

so i guess, its time to move on.

to anticipate is exciting me.

all i have is excitement and calm.

im gonna go back to my birthplace.

Potentially Subject to the Purpose of Adhesive

Let me tell you some'in

I saw them pieces ev your heart on er streets a while ago

Bud, a' first i never really thought them was yours

So, i tried te pick those pieces of the things i thought were from

your heart, 

id wuz all crazy from the pain it gave me, they were sharp,

them wuz also blunt in some parts

twas all damn bloody iv yer ask me,

with red, metallic- smellin pieces

them were all on that goddamn road.

Sor, many people tried to tell me it aint no use 

to pick them bloody things from that dirty icky road,

many people have stepped on em like it wuz all fuck'n trash

nobody cared az if this heart was nobody's child

sor i fuckin picked em up like a dint hear them blunt motherfuckers

i cared only for this poor poor heart, that i thought were yours

i brought this shitty lookin pieces near my nose

and ar smelled some'n so familiar, it smelled like the perfume of somebody's

first boyfriend, and d cigarettes of em somebody somebody used ta smoke

in and around a girl, n' prolly the cum, them saliva and the breath of

somebody's somebody's sex long time ago.

sor it warsnt so bad, that smell was even some'n i liked.

it felt like i fuckin despised myself af'er i smelled it, 

sor, i put them pieces of this heart inside my tight pocket

blood spread'n like a big bloodstain on my pants

az i warlked and warlked, i felt so much pain in my chest

each step i ever taken da night wuz nostalgia, were memories

i realized, them was no fuckin pieces of yer heart

them pieces were all fuckin mine.

it wuz about time i'd glue them all back in one goddamn piece.

possibly done.

it's funny. it is as if i don't know this man.
he is like from a different dimension.

we spent a lot of time together, but i think i don't know him at all.

that is truly strange.
i am fascinated by his neglect.
i'll fascinate you with my own devil baby.